The Ones Who Stayed

a blog for those who love someone

struggling with addiction

 

We are "the ones who stayed." Stayed in the lives of our addicted partners, family or friends. Loving someone through addiction and recovery is not for the timid. You are part of an elite group of souls who chose to remain when others fled.

 

These articles are addressed to those of you who are without addictions, but love an addicted person and are committed to being a part of that person's life.

 

There are volumes upon volumes of published works on addictive behaviors, co-dependence, enabling and the like. This is not one. This work simply seeks to help those partners, friends, and family members of addicts who are navigating the treatment and recovery processes while trying to live their daily lives.

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    Loving an Addict without Losing Yourself

    May 15, 2016

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    Marti Bradley

     

     

    Understand that you cannot understand.  That’s the first hurdle.

     

    If you do not have addictive tendencies yourself, you will never truly understand what it’s like for the person who does.  Sure, you can educate yourself about addiction. You can sympathize, and em...

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    Dirty Words

    April 6, 2016

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    Marti Bradley

     

    Understand that the “rest of the world” doesn't understand

     

    After years of working in recovery circles, the terms “alcoholic” and “addict” are no longer dirty words to me.  They’re simply terms that describe variations on a disease.  But I’m fully cognizant of the...

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    Sweet Surrender

    April 23, 2011

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    Marti Bradley

     

     

    I have some close friends who play in a rock & roll band on the club circuit. They were performing at a club in my town that I choose not to frequent because it’s a favorite hang-out of my first husband.  We’ve been divorced 13 years and I’ve been re-married for 12....

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    R-E-S-P-E-C-T

    March 31, 2011

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    Marti Bradley

     

    My husband often says that his definition of respect is based on seeing someone acting in a manner that he, given the same set of circumstances, is unsure he would be able to do. He uses this reference often when speaking to others about my staying with him as he batt...

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    Love is Cool Like That

    March 2, 2011

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    Marti Bradley

     

     

    My husband’s friend Alan passed away this week.

     

    I didn’t like Alan. “Oily” would be the word I would use to describe him. He was a ex-con real estate broker, always out for the fast buck--an “ends justify the means” kind of guy.  He defrauded his elderly parents to f...

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